Welcome, reader! We've put together all the knowledge and info we could assemble on the topic of gay massage. In truth, the "gay massage" world is its own distinct world, a sub-culture, as it were, and it has its own unspoken rules. We're trying to shine a spotlight on how things works, and demystify its cloudy territory so that you remain in-the-know.
Let's start by first addressing a common question: why do we talk about "male massage" or "gay massage" specifically? Why not just "massage"?
Why a Male Massage?
A lot of guys have their own reasons for seeking a male therapist, and these range from personal to cultural to psychological. Everyone's got their story, and their own reasons.
Here are some common reasons the m4m massage experience is it’s own thing:
Modesty: For some, it's all about comfort. As a guy, it’s usually easier in your own skin around another guy, especially with a male massage therapist.
Sexual Orientation: If you're gay or bi, you might just prefer someone who gets your vibe. A shared understanding can go a long way. Us gays feel more at home with other gays. Simple!
Body Image: It's not just the ladies who have body hang-ups. A guy can feel way more chill about his body when another guy is doing his massage magic (especially if share similar body types).
Communication Style: Sometimes, it's just easier to open up to someone who speaks your language. And by language, I mean guy stuff. “Yo, my neck is killing me." Or “Hey can you dig in there?”
Perceived Strength: The results are in - most guys believe a male masseur packs more power, delivering that deep pressure.
Ultimately it's all about you feeling comfortable in yourself so you can relax into the massage experience.
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So, now that's clear, shall we browse all those massage styles?
All the Massage Styles
It’s been a while since you had a good massage, and you’re craving that healing touch… but with so many massage styles where do you even begin?
Let's be real – the realm of massage is a maze of styles, modalities and techniques that can leave you scratching your head.
Swedish Massage
Your body feels like a grumpy toddler, stressed and worn out. Maybe you haven't had a decent night's sleep in ages. Or perhaps it's been forever since you've felt someone's touch.
You just need some relaxation.
Say hello to the Swedish massage style. This is the “Just make me feel good” kind of massage.
Think long, soothing strokes, with that soft, caressing touch. Once your muscles loosen up, those fingers start kneading. (Rather than dough, it's your muscles.)
This style's all about enhancing blood flow, draining lymph nodes, boosting oxygen levels in your blood, and unwinding that nervous system.
To put it simply, if your goal is pure relaxation and a good ol' dose of touch-induced euphoria, Swedish massage is the go-to.
Deep Tissue Massage
Let's dive a little “deeper” into the massage universe.
We already know - you're the kind of person who spends a ton of time sitting behind a desk, typing away. Your body's screaming for mercy. Stiff neck, achy lower back, wooden tight hamstrings, and cranky shoulders.
You’ve got KNOTS. Hun, you’re in need of some Deep Tissue massage.
Deep Tissue massage isn't for wimps. Think knuckles, elbows, forearms digging in with the strength of a superhero. There might be some discomfort – after all, those knots are real, and the therapist's job is to untangle them.
Expect a little pain as your muscles shift, lengthen, and align. But when it's over, you'll feel like a whole new person.
Have you heard of "sports massage"? It's like Deep Tissue's cousin, tailored for athletes in need of a body tune-up. Faster strokes, stretches, and a sprinkle of Swedish Massage – that's what it basically entails.
Thai Massage
Let's talk Thai. Thai massage is one of the oldest forms of this art.
Imagine a masseur using their entire body weight – hands, feet, elbows – to guide your body into various stretches - as though you were a human pretzel. You’ll feel your joints being opened in seemingly new ways. It's a grounding, rejuvenating experience.
Sometimes in Thai massage, they might walk on you. And, while it’s up to you to let them know if you’re down for that, you’d be surprised at how much weight your back and body can handle.
Other Massage Techniques
There are a variety of eastern techniques that involve using finger pressure on specific energy points. Each one of these is connected to another, and the create lines of points (meridians) all of which are connected with the body’s organs.
We're referring to Acupressure, Shiatsu, and Reflexology, which involve pressing deep into the points with the thumbs and fingers and holding them still.
Ayurvedic massage comes from Indian, and has its own unique understanding of the human energy system. It employs specific oils and long strokes that make your body feel like it’s receiving a big, warm hug.
Reiki has emerged as a very popular “energy healing” technique, which is sometimes combined with other massage styles, to help “clean” the human aura.
Hot Stone Therapy and Aromatherapy are like the extras on your massage menu.
Massage Styles: In a Nutshell
Picking a massage style can seem like a puzzle, as you begin to widen your understanding of the various modalities (and we’ve only covered a handful here).
As you carve out your self-care journey, remember this: exploring is good. You’re investing in your well-being.
And, of course, everyone's unique. Some love a gentle touch, while others need deeper pressure.
Here's a video of Peter and Trevor (from Los Angeles) discussing the various styles of massage:
How to Book the Best M4M Massage (for You)
We talked to dozens of gay men who have been booking massages for many years, to extract the top-notch tips to help you find the right massage therapist for you.
The ideal combo is a guy who's got the know-how, skills, and experience to deliver the massage you crave, in an right in your comfort zone, and at a price that won't break the bank.
What Do You Want?
First, a little soul-searching: Why are you after a massage in the first place?
Is it because your chiropractor – put it on your radar?
Maybe there's a medical or physical condition you're battling and you sense that a massage could be your ally.
Or perhaps your friends have been raving about massages, and now you're curious to dive in.
Maybe you're just a massage aficionado, but just haven’t found the right fit.
Let’s look at some of the most popular benefits of receiving a massage:
- Kiss stress goodbye
- Dial down your blood pressure
- Release tight muscles
- Enhance your flexibility and range of motion
- Heal from injury or trauma
- Anchor yourself in the present moment and find serenity
- Loosen those pesky knots
- Savor nurturing touch
- Briefly escape the humdrum of daily life
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Start Browsing Online
In order to start your gay massage experience, you'll need to find a reliable online platform (such as Gay Wellness). Simple start by typing in your city or location into the search bar on the homepage, and you'll be shown all the local listings of masseurs in that area.
Your journey has begun, as you browse through a variety of M4M massage therapists.
Your goal? Find the ones that mesh perfectly with your massage aspirations and the reasons driving your choice. And remember, if a listing doesn't mirror what you're looking for, just keep scrolling – your match is out there.
Now, as you're locking in your massage magician, ponder these considerations:
Location, Location, Location: Are you more comfortable having the masseur over at your place, or are you willing to venture to their studio?
Modalities Matter: Do their massage techniques align with your needs?
Distance: How far are you ready to journey for your massage fix?
Vibe: Do you have a preference for certain personalities or types of people?
Setting the Scene: Clinical, cozy, spa, or zen – what environment appeals to you most?
After-Massage Rituals: Is a post-massage shower on your must-have list?
Specialty Services: Craving hot stone therapy, aromatherapy, or scrubs?
Allergies Alert: Any specific lotions or oils you can't stand? Scented vs. unscented?
It's as straightforward as this: when you're clear on your needs and the offerings on the table, your massage experience will level up.
Gay Massage Booking Etiquette
Whether you're a newcomer to the world of gay massage or an old hand who still feels a twinge of uncertainty, rest assured that you're in good company.
It's all quite normal.
Booking the ideal masseur can be an art form, and yes, a bit of a puzzle.
Headshots and Profile
A massage therapist will have their profile on the directory, like this one, in which state will describe their style of massage, their approach, and their background and experience.
Masseurs will take the best pictures of themselves in order to best show up as professionally as possible. We do recommend that masseurs take photos that are recent and accurate, so as to not confuse you as a customer. Their pictures may include head shots, pictures of their massage, studio, and pictures of them, working on clients, as well as other recreational and personal photos.
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Of course, there is so of course there’s only so much you can garner from someone’s profile, but we do recommend that you read their reviews, as these reviews are authentically posted by other clients.
It also helps to know how long they have been doing massage, what styles they are versed in, and what kind of training or background they have and the craft.
We don’t allow masseurs to post nude pictures, as that would be misrepresenting the massage profession. There’s a different website for that.
Ok, so once you've zeroed in on your choice, there are some key practices you should know:
Book in Advance
Secure your slot with as much lead time as possible. This gives your massage therapist time to prep for your appointment, ensuring a premium experience. While they might occasionally have open slots due to cancellations or last-minute availability, it's best if you don't make it a habit.
One thing to keep in mind when booking a massage, therapist is that they are usually managing a lot of different appointments, clients, and priorities. You can try your luck to see if they are available last minute, but it’s not usually the case that they are. If they are, be sure to thank them, because they are really doing you a favor by squeezing you in in the last minute.
Some masseurs will travel to you, and, in this case, they will ask for an additional outcall fee. “Outcall” is when the massage therapist travels to you, and “Incall” is when you go their home or studio. The outcall additional fee helps to cover their time, gas, and any other expenses related to travel.
By the way, last-minute cancellations just before a session? Just not cool. Such abrupt changes often result in lost income for your masseur. If circumstances force a last-minute cancellation, the considerate thing is to still cover the session fee.
Remember, treating your gay massage therapist as you'd want to be treated is the golden rule here.
Establish a Connection
Next up, reach out to your chosen gay masseur.
Text, call – don't hold back!
You have the green light to ask about anything you want to know, including:
- Massage pressure: "Do you use deep pressure?"
- Service Fees: Rates for various services and durations, plus any package deals
- Travel Setup: For outcalls, will they bring a table? And if it's Thai massage, do they use a floor mat?
- Availability: Wanna snag a same-day slot? Give it a shot.
- Product Preferences: "Oils, lotions – what do you use?"
- Clothing Policies: Are you curious about draping or clothing during the session?
- Credentials and Experience: Ask them about their background and training.
- Health and Safety: Any medical conditions or concerns? They're here for these questions.
- Insider Tip: For a pro-grade experience, lean towards therapists who were trained in legit massage schools.
In the U.S., if they're certified by the National Certification Board for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork, they've clocked at least 500 hours of accredited training. Watch for those A.M.T.A. and Associated Bodywork Massage Professionals memberships too – hallmarks of an experienced hand.
Asking About Pricing
Inquiring about service fees is perfectly reasonable. Bargaining for discounts, however, is off the table.
Why? Exceptional massage therapists deliver a top-tier service that demands physical, mental, emotional, and intellectual exertion. Haggling for price reductions equates to bartering at high-end stores. Simply put: it's not a thing.
Massage Rate Structure
Each masseur sets their own rates, and has their own reasons for doing do.masseurs can charge slightly different rates depending on the technical difficulty of a certain style.
As always, you can ask the masseur anything you’d like as long as you are being respectful and acknowledging their policies, boundaries, and protocols.
Photo Inquiries
Of course, you want a masseur who exudes professionalism, hygiene, and attractiveness. If the photos fall short of this impression, don't hesitate to ask for more.
You want to be comfortable when booking an appointment and that’s understandable. It also nudges your therapist to improve their image selection.
However, if your intent is to score some nudes, you may need to curb your expectation. This isn't a hookup arena, and these are not escorts. (May we suggest Grindr?)
Every practitioner on this site is a highly skilled professional dedicated to delivering top-notch therapeutic experiences. The same can't be assumed for all platforms.
Of course, we're all human, and touch can trigger arousal. The therapists here boast bona fide training, and they take pride in their skilled touch. Approaching them mainly for sexual services belittles their education, expertise, and experience.
To Recap: soliciting professional pictures is legitimate; seeking explicit content is not.
Managing Illness
If you're unwell – be it a cold, flu, COVID-19, or any communicable skin condition – reschedule your appointment. If a masseur falls ill, they're sidelined too. This will save the entire community from disease transfer, whether it’s Covid, Mpox, or just the common flu.
After the pandemic, we all grasp the gravity of safeguarding everyone's health, including your massage therapist's.
So, your appointment is locked in, and the moment has arrived.
Now, there's an unspoken etiquette that governs this experience, right?
You want to make a good impression, as your gay masseur might just become your go-to male massage therapist for years to come.
Let's address some core tips on the basic etiquette that encompasses the pre, during, and post-massage stages – to erase any doubts about what to do:
Pre-Massage Hygiene
Refrain from Eating, Drinking, or Smoking Before a Massage
Massages involve substantial physical pressure. As such, having a heavy meal right before isn't the best move. Staying hydrated is key, but don't guzzle so much water that you need to interrupt the session for a restroom visit.
Also, save the cigarette for later; smoking before a massage can hasten the absorption of toxins and affect the therapist's environment.
Lastly, alcohol or any substances can detract from your ability to fully engage in the session.
Take a shower! Bid adieu to any unwanted aromas. Showering not only gets you all clean for the experience, it also readies your muscles for relaxation and enhances the massage's benefits.
Some therapists even provide on-site shower facilities before or after the session. (Hint: it's a treat for your feet!)
Clip those nails too.
And don't let the "it's just another guy" notion deceive you – cleanliness matters!
Bonus tip: Showering right before the massage also helps your skin better absorb oils or lotions.
Arrive Early
A golden rule is to arrive 15 minutes ahead of your appointment. This buffer grants you time to settle, acquaint yourself with the surroundings, and use the restroom. Some therapists even allow you to shower on-site - just ask.
Yes, your time matters, but so does your therapist's. Tardiness puts them in a bind to meet your expectations in a shortened window. He wants to serve you well, and time is essential for understanding your needs.
The Massage Space
After you have booked your massage, and you have prepared adequately, in other words, taking a shower, you were on your way to your session. If you were going to his place, prepared to be greeted by a friendly guy, we hope, and be welcomed into his house or studio.
We do say house, because a lot of massage therapists will work out of their home, dedicating a room specifically for their massage practice. This helps them save the cost of having a dedicated massage studio outside of the home.
So, don’t be surprised when he gives you his personal address, he’s not breaking the law by doing this!
Some masseurs will work on you outside, in the backyard, under a veranda, on the patio, whether allowing. It all depends on the season, location, and your preference, of course.
Some other equipment that you’ll see our oil‘s, lotions, hot towels, and essential oils, hot stones. It is important for massage therapists to keep their space, sanitary and clean, as part of good hygienic practice.
Don’t worry, they are trained to use, clean sheets, towels, and keep fresh linens on the headrest as well.
Meet, Greet, Prep
When you arrive, it’s nice to chat with the massage therapist, and get to know him a bit. Ask him about his day. Sometimes if you catch him in the evening, he has already worked on several clients, and you were his last client. Not to worry, they can handle a lot!
You can ask him for the restroom, and it’s always nice to freshen up a bit before offering your body for touch.
Table, Chair, Floor?
Usually you will start by lying face down on the table, and it is totally up to you if you want to be draped or not. This is not your average massage salon, so you should feel free to be as naked as you would like. This is usually why us gay men prefer to work with other gay massage therapists: We can feel free to be ourselves, and feel comfortable amongst our own kind.
There are times when a massage therapist will have you lie on the floor or perhaps a bed, especially if they are going to do, thai massage, or stretch therapy. In Thailand, this is actually the standard, and they make specific rollup mats that roll out onto the floor for this practice. Don’t worry, your Masseur will make sure you are entirely comfortable.
One last thing you might do before the massage starts, is to let your therapist know if there’s anything that hurts on your body, any injuries, surgeries, wounds, or anything that is out of the norm, that way they can be aware of that when they work on you.
Now the massage has started, and it’s time to bliss out!
During the Session
once the massage, therapist starts working on your body, just relax, and let your body sink into the table. There is an art to be mindful and and stay in the present moment while receiving your massage, and this can greatly enhance your experience.
Remember that you can always ask for modifications in their technique. Are they going to fast? Are they going to deep? Not deep enough? Simply let them now, just use your words!
Boundaries, Consent
your body is your temple, and it is up to you to determine what feels comfortable and what doesn’t, so remember that you can always ask for things you want, but also, you can say no to things you don’t want. Consent if there’s something that isn’t feeling right, simply state your personal boundary, and any masseur will be respectful.
Oh, and speaking of respect, please don’t ask the massage therapist for sex, that is an entirely different profession.
Phone on Silent
Is there anything more annoying than your phone pinging during a massage? This is your moment of disconnection; let the world wait.
What to Wear - Nothing?
Typically, your masseur will leave you to disrobe to your comfort level – underwear or nude. Upon lying down, they might place a towel over your posterior. This is called "draping."
However, being nude is optional. An experienced masseur respects your choice. Some masseurs may offer a towel, but if they don’t, you can always request one.
Bodily Responses
As your body succumbs to relaxation, certain things can happen. Massage therapists are familiar with the territory, so you don’t need to feel embarrassed.
Worried about a little gas? Don’t worry.
Falling asleep? It's actually a compliment to your masseur, signaling that their ability to induce relaxation is working.
An erection during a massage? No worries. It's not an issue, nor an offense. Your therapist won't be fazed.
No need to suppress moans, sighs, or yawns. They're normal reactions to the process.
Massage therapists help you embrace your body's comfort and are skilled in understanding and empathy.
Speaking of the body, one question that comes up often is "Should I worry about my body size? What about body hair? Is it ok to have some?"
To that we say an emphatic "no!"
Here's a video that speaks to those concerns:
Use Your Words
Brief chatter in the opening moments of the session is a plus, helping you connect with the masseur and unwind. Talking is part of the process of shedding stress.
Ultimately, it's your call on how much to converse; remember, the goal is relaxation. The critical thing is allowing your body the rest it craves, letting your mind slow down.
Should something not feel right, speak up. When your gay massage therapist asks about pressure levels, honesty wins. They strive for your optimal experience and appreciate transparent communication.
"I'd rather have satisfied clients, so if something isn't enjoyable, speak up! Saying 'that's a bit too much pressure' or 'I'm sensitive in that area' leads to satisfying outcomes."
- Dan Nazarian, San Francisco-based gay masseur
Tipping Etiquette
Gay massage is a service industry, and like any service, a tip is appreciated. The sum you tip varies based on the experience.
Consider factors like carrying a massage table up 50 steps or exceptional service that surpasses expectations. While the standard is a 10-20% tip, your intuition should guide you.
Post-Massage Feedback
Ideally, forge a lasting partnership with a gay masseur you trust. The more feedback you provide, the more comfortable you'll be. If a certain touch isn't your vibe, share it!
For positive experiences, let your praise extend beyond in-person remarks. It’s kind of you to leave your masseur a review on their profile. These reviews elevate their online presence, helping them attract new clients.
Here are some examples of reviews, which can be found on our Google Business profiles:
Now You're In-The-Know
You're now privy to the secret ways of the gay massage world.
Remember, gay masseurs on Gay Wellness seasoned professionals who understand their craft and can guide you through any questions or issues. Feel free to discuss anything that unsettles or confuses you – your gay massage therapist is there to support.
And who knows? This may mark the start of a fruitful, long-term connection. Often, it's the masseur who grasps your needs in ways others can't, due to their intimate understanding of your body
Should Massage Clients Be Concerned About Their Body Size When Booking?
Tips to Feel Confident with Your First M2M Massage
Gay Massage Workshops & Events
You can also attend a gay massage workshop or event, and learn techniques on your own. There are usually several groups that can be found on meetup.com or at local yoga studios, who will gather to share tips and techniques on how to massage. Now you’re armed with useful skills that you could share with any friend or lover or partner.
I mean, really, who does not love a massage?
Of course, the ideal would be to go to massage school, but not everyone has six months or more to dedicate and thousands of dollars to dedicate their lives to learning the craft at the pro most professional level. In lieu of that, there are several courses that are offered that teach the basic techniques and two or three weekend time.
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While being certified is to be held on high esteem, you don’t have to be certified in order to work on your friend or partner.
there are other alternatives to booking and paying for a gay massage therapist to work on you… And they are worth mentioning. There are gay Massage exchange websites.
The way these function is that you create your own personal profile, and connect with the other members on the site to see if they want to meet up and swap massage.
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There are also events in the gay community that offer mini massages. Often you’ll see a bunch of massage therapist with her tables and tip jars waiting to work on you.
It goes without saying that the line can fill up pretty quickly, so do you want to get there as early as possible and put your name on the list so you can get your free massage.
Make sure to tip!
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